Successes and Discoveries

Sometimes making changes is really frustrating. Sometimes we try to make the same changes over and over again and it feels like we make no progress. We fail in similar ways every time and it is easy to get discouraged. In class we have talked about ways to help combat this and make lasting changes (keep reminders of your motivation, shaping the path, making small goals, planning & preparation, accountability), but I won't pretend that you will never face this frustration.

Things happen to throw you off, both external changes (busy schedule, job/situation change, stressors, etc.) and internal changes (pregnancy, depression, aging, illness). Before you know it, you feel like you haven't made any progress at all and have completely reverted to old habits. In fact, the truth is that you had figured a lot out and made huge progress for your previous situation. Now you simply have a new hurdle. Figure out what is different, what is throwing you off, and make those same small, steady goals to overcome it. You did it before, and you can do it again.

So many times, when we get frustrated, we take it out on ourselves: "Why can't I do this?" "I have no willpower." Can't, can't, can't. Such destructive words! They don't help you move on, they just keep you wallowing and hitting your head against the wall. We try the same things over and over again, expecting things to be different this time because we mistakenly assume that it does depend on willpower. Instead, it depends more on two other things - your readiness to make the change, and DISCOVERIES.

Discoveries are things you have figured out or learned about your habits and what makes you tick. How do you learn these things? Often by failing! And it also helps to keep a record or food journal. :) Maybe you realize that every time you drive by the doughnut shop, you stop and buy one. Maybe you realize that every day after you put the kids down for bed you sit in a comfy chair and eat chocolate. Maybe you realize that when you have a little more protein for a snack you don't get so sluggish in the afternoons. Each of these realizations comes through failure, and each presents the opportunity to make a change that is healthier and will last longer.

Do you realize how powerful this way of looking at things is? First of all, you can make changes because it gives you the tools and insight you need to remove barriers. Second of all, it frees you from the crippling guilt of failure! Every time you "mess up," it is no longer something to mope about. It is an opportunity for discovery.

This is why at our meetings, we do not talk about our failures as such. Instead, at the beginning of each workshop, you have the opportunity to share SUCCESSES and DISCOVERIES. And, really, successes are wonderful, but I almost get more excited about the discoveries. They hold such power, and after you come up with a plan to deal with them, the successes come so much more easily.

So, this week, nurture the scientist inside you. Record a few days of eating or exercising, and see what you can discover!