Most parents are somewhat familiar with WHAT to feed their kids. Doctors give advice about choking hazards. Pinterest gives advice about everything else. Most parents at least have some idea that kids need to eat three meals and a few snacks, fruits and vegetables are good, and processed foods should be limited.
What we are much less familiar with is HOW to feed them. Nobody really tells us that the way we approach feeding our kids can be the biggest determinant of them being a healthy weight, eating a variety of foods, and overall being intuitive eaters. Too often we sabotage our kids' eating because we are trying so hard to get them to eat the way we think they should.
Here are some ways we inadvertently sabotage our kids' internal regulators:
1. Bite counting - When we count bites, we are getting our kids to focus on an external reason to eat (mom or dad's random number of bites) instead of their own hunger and fullness. They get used to overriding and ignoring those cues and eventually can't hear them anymore. Instead, try giving small portions consistently, and allowing your child to choose whether or not to eat it. It takes a lot of trust in our kids, but if you can trust that they want to grow up with regards to their eating, eventually they will!
2. Withholding dessert - "You can only have your dessert if you eat your vegetables!" When we do this, we very obviously set up one food as desirable - a reward - and the other food as a chore. It leads kids to have an unhealthy minset of "this is good for me but I don't want it, that is bad for me and I crave it." Does that sound familiar? It's often the way we think, as adults, and it is harmful even for us! Instead, if you are going to have dessert, either simply offer it after dinner regardless of how much dinner was eaten, or offer a small portion along with the dinner.
3. Short-order cooking - When we give in to demands for something else when the child has already had a few good options (that are part of the meal), we set ourselves up for major frustrations! The child will begin demanding something else more and more, you will get frustrated, and mealtimes will become a time of stress. The child will also be less likely to even try what is on the table, leading to very picky eating and poor diets. Instead, offer 3-4 items at each meal (2-3 for snack), trying to have at least one "acceptable" food (even if it is simply bread or fruit), and then allowing your child to eat as much or as little of what is offered as they want. If you are offering food every few hours, they will not starve, and they will feel like they have the freedom to grow.
4. Eating with distractions - Sometimes you've got to eat in the car. I'm totally there with you. We are busy and it happens...sometimes a lot! Whether it's on the go or in front of the TV, when we allow our kids to be distracted while they eat, they are less likely to pay attention to their own internal cues and either over- or under-eat. Instead, as often as you can, try having sit-down meals at the table. If at all possible, eat with your kids - the more they see you eat appropriately, the more they will want to, too. Your example makes more of a difference than you think!
There are many more examples, but those are some to get you started! We have lots more information to come on keeping your kids healthy, so stay tuned, and if you are in the area, join us this Thursday for our free workshop!
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